“Arriving someplace more desirable at some future time is an illusion. This is it.” — Jon Kabat-Zinn
“The feeling ‘I’ll be happy when X happens’ will never bring you anything but discontentment. […] Consider a sailor trying to reach the horizon. It is unreachable. If the sailor sees the horizon as the point he must reach to achieve happiness, he is destined to experience eternal frustration.” — Thomas M. Sterner, The Practicing Mind: Developing Focus and Discipline in Your Life
= 抵達謬誤
The arrival fallacy was first coined by Dr Tal Ben-Shahar.
If I get [X], then I’ll be happy.
The illusion that “reaching some future destination will bring lasting happiness.”
[@brickmanLotteryWinnersAccident1978]
Humans have a tendency to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness after positive or negative events.
Beware of destination addiction: The idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, or even with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.
Hedonic Happiness & Eudaimonic Happiness
因馬拉松賽事需要長時間的訓練與準備，讓跑者在賽前能夠有明確的目標及方向，然而，當比賽一結束，這種明確的目標感與方向感會突然消失，導致心理上的空虛及失落。
Source: Cool Runnings (1993 film)
Coach: You see, Derice, I’ve made winning my whole life. And when you make winning your whole life, you have to keep on winning, no matter what, you understand that?
Derice: No, I don’t understand, Coach. You had two gold medals, you had it all.
Coach: Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.
Derice: Hey Coach, how will I know if I’m enough?
Coach: When you cross that finish line, you’ll know.
一輩子都在訓練，最後終於如願站上奧運會頒獎台、國歌響起、金牌掛上脖子 — 然後呢？隔天醒來，沒有下一個目標、沒有下一張訓練課表，只剩下空虛。心理學上稱為「後奧運憂鬱」（Post-Olympic Depression），許多世界級運動員都走過這一段：
- Michael Phelps：奧運史上獎牌最多的運動員，28 面獎牌、23 面金牌。他在 2012 年倫敦奧運後陷入嚴重憂鬱，甚至一度不想再活下去。
- Eileen Gu：在 2022 年北京冬奧拿下兩金一銀，成為該屆最受矚目的選手。站上人生最高點之後，她坦言並沒有想像中的長久滿足。
= Identity Displacement/Dislocation/Disorder
➞ 偶像包袱
Your identity dictates your actions
- Stay in contentment
- Contentment is the lasting goal. True joy comes from being content with what you have rather than pursuing what you don’t have.
- Expect nothing
- Reward Prediction Error = Actual Reward - Expected Reward
- Miracles do happen when you least expect it.
- 把目標砍半，以退為進
- Journey over destination
