“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” — Paulo Coelho
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” — Bruce Lee
You can be liked by everyone and loved by no one. Or you can be loved deeply by a few, and disliked by many. The choice is yours.
Sometimes when you say no to others, it opens a pathway to a hell yes for yourself. To grow, you have to disappoint some people. Saying no is a form of self-respect. Don’t be the one to tell yourself no.
做一個不怕讓人失望的人。這個世界上對你不好的人，不差你一個；這個世界上對你好的人，就差你一個。
如果你的善良讓你不斷消耗自己，那善良就變成對自己的殘忍。
善良，不是盲目的討好，而是清醒的選擇。
善良，不是沒底線的付出，而是有分寸的給予。
善良，不是為了被喜歡，而是為了不愧對自己的心。
Impress Yourself
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” — Wayne Dyer
The Courage to Be Disliked — The philosophical stance, rooted in Adlerian psychology, that interpersonal freedom comes from separating your tasks from others’ tasks. You cannot control how others feel about you—only how you feel about yourself.
Stop people-pleasing. Everyone thinking you’re great means nothing, if you don’t think you’re great. Be impressive to others is overrated. Be impressive to yourself. You don’t need to impress anyone but yourself. You become inhumanly strong when you try to impress only one person: YOU. You are always going to win the “YOU” game. The only person you have to compete against is yourself. You learn the most when there is nobody to cheer you but yourself.
When your standard of evaluation moves from external (what do others think?) to internal (am I proud of this?), several things happen:
- Your energy becomes undiluted — You stop second-guessing every action based on imagined judgment.
- Your decisions become faster — The question shifts from “What will they think?” to “Is this right for me?”
- Your resilience increases — Rejection no longer feels like a verdict on your worth. It is simply information.
- Your growth accelerates — You take risks you would have avoided if you needed an audience’s approval.
Be primarily internally driven with intrinsic motivation
There is no sure path to success, but the surest path to failure is trying to please everyone. Don’t be a people pleaser.
“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” — Robin Williams
- 好好先生
- 濫/爛好人
- Yes Man (2008 film)
不要有了頭銜，卻失去了名字，就像法老王一樣。
Analogy: 中央空調
Ask for forgiveness, not permission
We don’t get a lot of things to really care about